going deep
Do you ever go deep?
Not into the ocean, which is quite invigorating, but deep into a conversation?
It seems too often, few are willing to open up and share what’s going on inside- deep inside. Instead, we ignore or bury our thoughts, feelings, and emotions in hopes that someone will ask how we’re doing. If left unaddressed, those emotions may go away or be buried deeper into our being. I’m not trying to sound dramatic, but I believe this often is the case. Most of us are either a bit shallow and we don’t want to get involved, or we don’t even recognize the absence of something in those near to us.
I recently wrote two blogs labeled ‘catch and release’ about stress, and purposefully adding ‘space’ to our lives (I added links below if you want to read my last 2 blog posts). Now I’m jumping a little deeper by expressing something important to me, and likely you too.
Some of us are good concealers. We cover up our feelings like we cover up the dark circles under our eyes. We put on a happy face and pretend everything is fine. We often fool the world with our deliberate expression while camouflaging the worry or sometimes sadness that’s inside. I suppose it could also be our thoughts and desires too, it doesn’t have to be the more negative emotions.
Others are unable to mask or choose to wear their emotions on their sleeves. This is what puzzles me the most. When one expresses their emotions and no one takes the time to ask what’s up? Often, even those closest to us, don’t check in on us because they hope that whatever is going on will go away so they don’t have to deal with going deep.
I see this in myself and friends that I am close to. We either try not to burden others (perhaps they have bigger challenges) but if we allow our emotions to be evident, those around us may be fearful of finding out the current reality or feel inadequate to help.
What can we do?
For me it’s difficult. I typically feel it is not my responsibility to tell those that know and love me what’s wrong. They should either know, want to know, or ask what’s upsetting me. I hate the thought of having to explain myself without someone asking me ‘what’s wrong' or ‘how are you’? (I’m not declaring this is right, it’s how I typically feel) If you ask, I am eager to tell because I likely have been waiting for someone to ask. If no one inquires, a few things could happen. Feelings and emotions get buried, one feels ignored, and bitterness may set in. Maybe we cave and spill our guts without any prompting. It usually makes us feel better, but don’t you want someone to care enough to ask the question? Are you okay? What’s going on? Let’s talk!
I think it’s important to be more attuned to the emotions of those we love. There are plenty of non-verbal cues floating around that we need to pick up on. I honestly think it is extremely valuable to share our emotions, fears, and worries with those around us. We need to go deep. We need to be willing to be vulnerable and transparent if we want to acquire a more stable mental health.
Life can be difficult. Don’t be afraid to ask and don’t be afraid to tell. You’ll likely feel better, even if you’re the one that needs to make the first move and open up.
The picture above is of the North Sea. It was taken from a hiking place called Brufjell, located between Flekkefjord and Ana Sira, Norway. I plan on writing about my trip to Norway shortly. Hiking to Bufjell was an amazing adventure with a deep view.
58°16’52.829” N 6°24’20.343” E
