return
I just returned from a visit up north. It was about family, friends and special places.
Family
There never is enough time to see all my family, but I did get to briefly see my two brothers and two of my nephews, which is a rare treat. We weren’t together for either Thanksgiving or Christmas this year, a first for us all. Even if the time was short, making the connection is always a positive thing. It reinforces the bond that is there but not always obvious. I think having some one-on-one time with people is most beneficial. Whether it’s a tour of your childhood house that’s being recreated by your nephew, having lunch with another nephew, a visit with a sister-in-law for brief catch-up, a drive along the shore to see a work-project with a brother- all these encounters were very meaningful and important.
However, the bulk of our visit was being present and assisting my in-laws in a transitional time. I’m so glad my husband and I were able to lend a hand and be a source of comfort in a time of need. It’s always good to slow down and just allow yourself to be available for unexpected events in life. Fortunately, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law can lend support, when needed, on a more regular basis. There never is regret for spending time with family and loved ones. Even if it's under circumstances that we don't wish for- being together is always a treat.
Stony Brook Harbor from Stony Brook Yacht Club
Friends
I have many friends back on Long Island, and I wish I could see them all. With each return, I do my best to squeeze in as much as I can, but based on the circumstance that surrounds the visit, it’s almost impossible to do everything I want to do. So, I choose and see what lands. I try not to make definitive plans because they have a way of changing once I arrive. Remaining a bit non-commital seems to work best. I’m sure to make more visits in the future, and hopefully, I’ll be able to reconnect with some of the other, very important people from my past that are still part of my future.
Lunch with a dear friend. Robinson’s Tea Room, Stony Brook, New York
Places
Then there were the beautiful places I was able to see and will always make an effort to visit with each return.
I slow drive along Shore Road in Setauket is a must. Even if it means pulling over to allow an impatient driver to pass. It never fails to offer a beautiful, peaceful view and relive walks along the sleepy road. It has a way of conjuring up so many memories. At times it's even hard to understand how we could have left this all behind?
Scott’s Cove, Setauket New York
So what can you take from all this? How can my little return apply to you?
1) If you leave, you can always return. Life may take you on a different course, but family is still family. Friends are still friends and you can always go back for a visit.
2) Be present. Listen. It’s not the big events that will necessarily warm your heart, but the small encounters that happen organically.
3) Look back. With gratitude for experiences that formed who you are. Take what is good, learn from what wasn’t so good and recreate the future you wish to live.
